I was having a great day until I watched Blood Diamond.
Without certainty, I was sheltered growing up in one of the poorest countries in the world. Peace Corps Niger was recently evacuated because it is too dangerous to live there. Apparently Al Qaeda has finally made its way through. I don’t remember my age but I remember when President Bare was assassinated. I recall my American friends thinking that they were probably going to be evacuated. I had no idea what was going to happen to us. Looking at the situation as an adult I’m sure only the American Embassy workers and their families would have been evacuated.
I also remember a classmate, Khalipha, we were eating at lunch and he was telling us that his dad was in the room when the assassination happened. I am positive this was not true, we were just a bunch of kids competing for attention back then and children always lie to outdo each other. I do remember he reenacted the way Bare was killed. He stood up and shook his body as if he was having a seizure and dropped to his knees, then his stomach. He told us it was the machine gun fire that supposedly made his body shake like that. Back then I thought he was telling the truth.
After watching Blood Diamond again tonight I realized a few things about myself and Africa. The first time I watched it I was with my girlfriend at the time and I left feeling as if the movie hadn’t changed any of my opinions. I acted as if I had already known what was going on in Africa just because I had lived there. I remember being all nonchalant about the film. The truth is I did know the facts but I regrettably ignored the feelings. I realize now that the feelings, especially when it comes to countries in war that those feelings are far more important. What a cocky little prick I was back then. I hope I’m still not like that.
Apparently Burkina Faso is about to erupt now too. Thank God Ivory Coast is finally cooling down. Africa. This is Africa. But what is Africa? There was a line in Blood Diamond that Djimon Hounsou’s character said, “I know good men from my country that believe there is something wrong in our blood, that we were better off when white men were ruling our country.” What compels somebody to believe that? When he said that, all I could do was drop my jaw. Throughout all the twelve years that I spent growing up here I never encountered one person saying that about Africa. I am here for seven months as an adult and I have heard several people in my village say that.
I’m absolutely thankful that my parents did not surround me around people who believed that as a child, what would I have grown up to think about Africans? What do these African children grow up to believe if there parents say that all the time? Where is the pride? Where is the hope? Where is the trust? Is it even really that harder to find these essential human features here than in any other place in the world?
God I could use a beer right now, actually tequila or whiskey would be better. Be right back.
There was another line in Blood Diamond, about the Peace Corps. I’m just paraphrasing right now but DiCaprio’s character said something like, “Peace Corp Volunteers only stay here long enough to realize that nothing they do actually helps people.” I laughed when I heard this. Personally, I think he is wrong. In fact, f*** the writer for writing that. But at the same time I understand why he would write that. I have always been optimistic, I relate most to both Connelly’s and Hounsou’s characters. I am optimistic but I have to question why some people do what they do. Come to think of it ‘development’ is an ironic word to call this field of work.
Today one of my favorite people to work with told me something (insert your own adjective here). He told me the director… actually… I won’t give you specifics but he said that an influential figure who I will be working closely with for one of my projects is very corrupt. Apparently he made young kids make bricks and kept the money for himself as well as some other bizarre things. I told him I would love to call out this director on his wrong doings but it simply is not place to do so.
My friend also told me that I shouldn’t work with this other farmer because he was not to be trusted. I told my friend that I don’t trust anyone but I do trust my judge of character. He was basically telling me to not work with a man who gave his kids an option between school and working on the fields. His children chose school and now he makes sure they do it right. He makes them study; finish their homework and everything else that is necessary to succeed in school. I told my friend that I appreciate his advice but my parents didn’t raise no fool. I will always listen to people that give their kids an option between school and working on the fields.
When it comes to trust here, I simply don’t. At least right now I don’t. I haven’t been in Meidougou long enough. Personally it takes a very special moment to trust someone. Whether it is an enlightening conversation, or if they stick with me during a tragedy, or if I notice that they are always there for me, or if we share some sort of life changing moment, I can’t forget history, if I have a long history with a person I tend to (at least most of the times) stick around with them.
Good company is usually not too difficult to find however finding people that reciprocate respect, keep their words, pay back debts, feed your pets while you’re out, help you paint your walls, hand you their last cigarette, clean up your πss, return your phone calls, this list can truly write a trilogy.
All in all what I want to say is that Africa has good company, trustworthy people, respectful men and women but what I’m praying for is that the less educated Africans soon realize that it is just as hard to find these people in any other corner of the world.
Carlos Jesus Fernandez-Torres
April 21, 2011
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