So many people telling me one way, So many people telling me to stay, Never had time to have my mind made up, Caught in a motion that I don't wanna stop.

This is my 25^th entry on this web journal. I have shared a lot with you. I have grown up quite a bit in the last year. Increments of maturity have been built through kilometers of running, sentences written, failed projects, enlightening conversations, new relationships, traveling and all sorts of crazy experiences. This first year as a truly independent man has been documented to the world through this journal.

For those of you who didn’t notice, each one of my journal entries was inspired by a different song but titled by my favorite lyric of that song. This collection of 25 paints a self portrait. I have shared a total of two short stories, one collection of college essays, one self interview, one letter to future PCVs, a dozen poems and the rest very personal articulated journal entries. Here is the list from the very beginning. You’ll discover that I named my web journal, “The Wait of My Words,” from the very first song. It is one of my favorite songs ever written by one of my favorite bands but I tweaked it for a more optimistic direction.

1-      The Weight of my Words – Kings of Convenience

2-      No Rain – Blind Melon

3-      Neighborhood #3 – Arcade Fire

4-      Smoke & Mirrors – RJD2

5-      All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers

6-      In My Place – Coldplay

7-      Stay Together for the Kids – Blink 182

8-      Wipe Those Prints and Run – Beulah

9-      Sun it Rises – Fleet Foxes

10-  Still D.R.E. – Dr. Dre

11-  Teardrop – Jose Gonzalez

12-  Things I Don’t Remember – Ugly Casanova

13-  Make You Feel Better – Red Hot Chili Peppers

14-  Blue Ridge Mountains – Fleet Foxes

15-  (It’s a) Departure – The Long Winters

16-  Float On – Modest Mouse

17-  This Temporary Life – Death Cab for Cutie

18-  Hurt Me Soul – Lupe Fiasco

19-  Tightrope – Yeasayer

20-  Stability – Death Cab for Cutie

21-  We Will Become Silhouettes – The Postal Service

22-  Sabali – Amadou & Mariam

23-  Michicant – Bon Iver

24-  Service Bell – Grizzly Bear & Feist

25-  Burning – Whitest Boy Alive

 What have I learned? Where do I belong? What are my plans for the future? Well if you listen to these songs you might get an answer. They won’t be very specific but you’ll understand the emotions I’m going to through to construct my next direction. Click on each song to take you to the entry that inspired it.

My five favorite are: 14, 22, 17, 18 and 9. I’m hoping that the next 25 journal entries will make an even better playlist, we’ll see.

Carlos Jesus Fernandez-Torres

March 4, 2012